Last night, as I spoke to my daughter, I told her, I get it. The acceptance of self...the power of Now....the Now of having faith...the allowing yourself to just rest and stop pretending to be someone.....the allowing of myself to be disappointed in others actions but not disgruntled. I get it....how to tell someone words that are not easy to say but necessary for them to hear. I get the left out feeling . ..it has begun to give me power. A quiet power that I never knew I had.
This makes me happy. I used to want to go and be around all the popular people. I used to dream of being with the wealthy and rich of this present world. Until I read the book of Proverbs twice. Until I revisited certain passages over and over and it was there that I found a secret. That I can be wealthy. I can be set. I can be in a place of pleasant riches. As the Proverb states: "Wisdom builds the house, but knowledge fills the rooms with pleasant and precious riches". Not to walking into a bank and seeing $$$$$$$$$$$$ misteriously placed in my account. But providing a way for that money to get there. Even with the secret of finding a man who will love me for me and prefer me over anyone else so much so that he will want to marry me as Melissa Manchester sang so passionately in the 70's. I get it.
But it is a power of keeping. It is the power of living. It is knowing that I am in a place where my faith and my being in the present moment allows all possibility to abide. I cannot adequately explain it. Perhaps this visual will help me see it and by typing it you will see it too! Every door seems closed to me. But in my heart, I know they are opened. But there is nothing in my life telling me that this is nothing more than a contrary hope that will manifest itself in the near future.
However, it is because of the Wisdom, I am sure. I am positive. I know. Everything will come to me as it should and when it is manifested and if I never sell my hope, my faith, my trust short. There are times I've listened to friends who second guess themselves, say things they don't mean and cannot take back. Friends who look really successful and are a bag of water, nuts and bolts. In debt and see nor plan to get out of it. Here I stand. With a hope of knowing that even though I cannot adequately explain it. I get it.
