That talented young woman...gone...everyone is speculating. Not one of the TV commentator's who are talking about her say they knew her personally. But yet they are delivering us the news of her death. Telling us about what someone else says about her and we listen hoping for what?! She is gone. She was amazed at her stardom even though she worked in a place that produced stars.
How many of us singers pray daily for a chance like that. To have a band ...to have a voice...to catch people by surprise with the talent we give to them without asking for anything in return. It seems rebellion and sex. Or changing your sex or coming out are the attention getters in our world of "born this way". But when we get alone. Who is it we call, really. When we step out of the shower or close the door on the last visitor leaving our home for the evening. We sit down and alone...what is it...who is it that we think of....even in our "born this way" state of mind...how do we feel inside? Is happiness there or gee, I am so glad that is over! What do we really want?
What did Amy or Jimmi or Janis really want so desparately or Freddie Prinze for that matter....What did Marilyn Monroe see when all the people left her alone? All that fame but hearts filled with despair?
This may or may not make since to anyone but me but I just wonder when you reach that type of stardom can the mind tell you that all you need really is a drug or a drink to get you into a place of contentment. Isn't your talent enough or isn't your parents love enough or isn't love of self enough? I don't know. I just know that I have lived long enough to hear and read the news of the Jimmi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, the Doors lead singer and others ...and it is all drugs...And they all seem to think they have control of it. And if they don't walk away and make a change beginning with every person around them and their lifestyle they remain in it...they try but never get out until they are dead. I have a boyfriend like this.ar...he comes around...then he leaves for days ...weeks...then he comes around telling me how he loves me but I cannot talk about the life of drugs he thinks I am unaware of....Everyone has tried but he won't...but I wonder when you are a "star" shouldn't there be more avenues to go to for recovery?
Perhaps not, it just makes me sad. We live in a land of Mega churches and podcasts of prayer rooms and somehow the people on the gossip shows are never hounded by these church leaders...not even Buddists or any other religion does the reach out to the lost. Because Television is teaching us that destructive behavior is just that...we all have it in us. We all participate in something we shouldn't sometimes. But when we keep doing it. When we keep going to the drugman and he or she won't even protect his/her investment by saying ...no more this week ....try next week...give your system a break....What is happening? Yes we have choice. And I am not saying to take that away...I am just saying ...or asking for tenderness, kindness when I see someone drinking themselves to death or using drugs to ask them ....can't you just give yourself a break for a day? A week? Can't you just try...with my boyfriend he tries but he goes back....it's like he wants death and it won't come quick...it waits...So I had to say goodbye to him...
The worst of all my writing this is I realize that all people do have choices and ending your own life is or can be one of the things a person might want to do. So I write in appeal to the Mega church people...even the busy pastors in this town where I live who pass people who are high and who avoid them.....won't you try to reach out to these personalities and ask them to give love a chance...give peace in their minds an opportunity for love to flow in. After all, isn't that what we should do as Christian believers or peacemakers or even the freethinkers...to offer another option than self destruction? Because Amy is gone.
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